I’m not sure how to start this post. It’s probably because I’m pretty uncomfortable with the subject. Today I wanted to write about liking yourself as you are before you try to change yourself.
You may think, Hey this girl named an entire blog after herself, shouldn’t she be concerned with liking herself maybe a little too much?
And I will not argue with that point one bit. I did name this blog after myself and then I continue to fill it with embarrassing stories, okay-ish advice about how you should live your life, and low-key force you to look at projects I make. That is not me whispering to you about myself; that is me shouting from the depths of the internet to anyone who listen about me. Signs point to moderate narcissist.
But the truth is, I have a really big self-esteem issue. I think about myself constantly, but thoughts go like: Hey you, you’re not good enough. And my reaction is to try to be better. Which would be totally cool. Self-improvement is something I love to write about, ponder, and act on. The problem is that initial thought.
You are not good enough.
That thought right there, puts you on the wrong foot toward self-improvement. So I’ve been trying to shake that thought. Which is not instantaneous by any means. Taylor tells you to shake it off, but she doesn’t go into detail about how not easy that is.
So how does this relate to helping yourself change into a better person? It seems like it would be great motivation. Except, hey there, you’re only human. And you’re pretty much only ever going to be human. As a human, you’re going to make mistakes, which means at some point or another you’re going to fail.
If you’re anything like me, a self-obsessed perfectionist, you can forgive others for their shortcomings, but you can’t remember the last time you forgave yourself. What I’m getting at here is little self-acceptance. Throw in some patience and love and you’re on your way to liking yourself.
Obviously it’s not going to really be that simple. But working toward having an understanding of who you are and who you are not can help you decide who you want to be. Take time to reflect on your characteristics. Get to know your annoying habits, your quirky quirks, and the things that make you great and wonderful. Because I can guarantee if you are human, you have all of those things. Then take time to appreciate them and know you for your value.
You are totally good enough. I would wager you are more than good enough.
Accepting yourself for who you are gives you the freedom to healthily improve you. When you’re ill, you don’t try a new weight lifting program to make yourself healthy (please don’t do that). You give yourself time to heal and remember your body and what it can and cannot do.
It’s the same thing when you’re trying to evolve your inside you. Give yourself time to heal from the negative thoughts. Have some patience, accept yourself, and love the holy heck out of you.
I stated earlier that this is kind of an uncomfortable topic for me. That’s partly because pretty much everything makes me uncomfortable (hello, my name is Crystal and I have serious introvert problems). But also because this is something I am deep into working on, and the successes I’ve had so far are small.
It’s a slow process. But it’s worthwhile.
How do you show yourself acceptance, patience or love?