Hey everyone, I have a confession: I don’t enjoy the company of every single person on this planet. I’m sure this comes as a big surprise, but I bring it up because of something a friend of mine said.
She was talking to me about the woes of her workplace, and mentioned that she didn’t like someone there. I mean, who likes every single person they work with? But she continued and said she felt bad for not liking this coworker. When I thought about it, I could totally see where she was coming from.
It’s easy to think that you’re a bad person for not liking someone. But that, to me, is not something that makes you a bad person. It’s what makes you human.
Where things get tricky is when you start taking your ill feelings out on that person. Which I am totally and one hundred percent guilty of. I am queen of snide remarks and back-handed compliments. It’s a habit I’m still trying to shake off.
But the guilt for not liking someone is just as damaging to yourself. There’s no reason to feel that way when it’s just how you feel. Instead of letting the guilt sit within you, try to be active against it.
You could just accept that those feelings are the feelings you are going to have. This person is the way they are or they have done the things they have done, and nothing is going to change. Acceptance of this is totally cool. Because acceptance means moving past it. You know it like it is and now you can get over it.
Another route is still accepting your aversion for said human, but deciding that it is not the end. You guys, I have met some really amazing people that my first impression of them could have ruined if I had let it. The thing about people is that there are so many facets within them. People can have good stuff in them if you take the time (and sometimes a lot of effort) to find it.
On that note, sometimes communication with a problematic individual can confront some of the issues. If you’ve found yourself struggling with someone because of some of the things they do, and you feel it is appropriate, talking about your problem to those directly involved could clear up the ill feelings right there.
A more extreme method is to disassociate yourself with the person altogether. Remove yourself from situations where you would have to interact. This might not work in all situations, but try to find ways to spend less time involved with whomever causes these feelings. It’s not running away from the problem, it’s avoiding bed feelings and negative situations.
Pick what’s best for you and the other person. But don’t let your guilt, your ill feelings, or anything else stick with you. There’s other, healthier, ways to fill your head and time.
What advice has worked for you when it comes to people?